Today’s guest post is by Julia Monroe Martin, a writer I met on Twitter just a few months ago. I was so happy when Julia emailed me this post, about the power of blogging and Twitter to build not just an author platform, but real friendships and connections. It seemed such an appropriate topic, considering the friendship she and I have developed online in such a short time!
When I started out four months ago in the world of blogging and Twitter, my goal was simple: to “build a writer’s platform.” Beyond that, I expected nothing. Beyond that I knew nothing.
In short, I had no idea what I was getting into. It was only after I started blogging I found out that there are approximately 140 million bloggers and at least 175 million tweeters. I’m glad I found out after I started—or I may never have even tried! Because when I did find out, I wondered: how on earth would anyone ever find me?
But they did find me. More specifically I “met” other writers on Twitter and on blogs, theirs and mine. And somehow—despite the overwhelming numbers—I found myself making connections to people, real people.
When I first started out in blog-tweetland, I had no idea this was possible—or even desirable. Not because of how many people there were, but because I didn’t think it was possible to meet people, to make friends this way. Sure, just like anyone, I have a few friends who have tried Internet dating; I even have a friend or two who found a serious relationship on the Internet, one even got married!
But it never ever occurred to me that through blogging and tweeting I’d meet or want to meet writers I would forge real life friendships with. But I have.
On Twitter there are ten or more writers who I “see” most days: a “kitchen table writing group” (the writers who tell each other to get off Twitter and go write); a bird watching group (we exchange photos of birds); even a weather-watching group. Some friends and I have ongoing jokes—things like #glamorouswriterslife, #rapture, or #chipmunks! I’ve heard from friends about illnesses and injuries, wild animals in their house or on daily runs, pet problems, tornado warnings, children’s illnesses, what’s for dinner, finishing a thesis, and of course how their writing is going. And I’ve seen pictures: of writer’s work areas, of their chairs, of birds and other animals, of flowers and gardens, and vacation spots. Some of these friends and I have broken out of the 140 character limitation on Twitter and moved onto email communication, taking our friendship to yet another level.
On my RSS feed, I have a “daily list” of blogs I make sure to check every day. I want to know if one of these bloggers has posted something new. And what I look forward to most with my own blog are the comments: reinforcing writer ties and meeting new writing friends.
But it’s even more than that. If I don’t “see” someone on Twitter for a few days, I start to wonder—then may actually worry. Where are they? Is everything okay? If they haven’t tweeted or blogged as often as usual, I might send them an @ tweet or even a direct message. Some friends let me (and others) know if they’ll be out of town—so we don’t worry!
The truth is, my writer’s platform is coming along nicely: I’m building a following. But that? That’s become the icing on the cake. To my surprise I discovered the much more important hidden gem in blogging and tweeting—against the incredible numbers game—I’ve made human connections, and I’m building friendships and relationships with other writers!
What kind of relationships have you built with Twitter and through blogging? Is this as important to you as it is to me?
Julia Munroe Martin lives in an old house on the coast of Maine. She has a degree in journalism and works as a business and technical freelance writer in the private, public, and nonprofit sectors. She also writes fiction and creative nonfiction and a blog at www.wordsxo.com (which roughly translated means “love of words”). She started her blog to get herself writing everyday and as an experiment to see if she liked it–which she does, especially the part where she meets new writers like Natalia!
photo credit: garryknight
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LOVE this post! My favorite part is your last paragraph. Indeed, the hidden gem of blogging is the friendships and support. I know a few (judgmental) people who feel online friendships aren't the real thing, and have told me as much. Whatever! I've actually gone on to meet three of my online friends, and we've hit it off just as well in person as we did online. I once read somewhere that twitter and blogging is like a writer's water cooler, and I find that to be so true. Great, great post! I don't have anything else to add b/c you said it all.
My recent post Two for One-
Thank you so much, Barb, I'm glad you enjoyed this post — because I certainly count you among the friends I've made through blogging! As for people who say online friendships aren't the real thing: I'm assuming that meeting people through Twitter/blogging is like meeting them anywhere else — there's always room for disappointment or things not working out. I love the writer's water cooler idea, because last time I checked, I don't have one in the isolation of home writing! Thanks again for your comment, friend!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Why, hello there, friend! So happy to see you at Natalia's. I'm tickled to read this. I feel the SAME way. It's been such an enriching experience to form genuine relationships as the result of our blogs and tweeting — something I never thought was possible either (I was a MEGA Twitter-naysayer). I also agree that the biggest benefit of the time we put into social media is the relationships we form – the genuine ones, that is. Not like some who play games and follow you only to unfollow a day later so their "numbers" are better. You're doing it the right way. NO doubt! Love your blog. Simply love it. And, I actually think meeting people onTwitter may be a quicker, more in-depth way to get to know someone b/c of the things we discuss… Perhaps more so than 'face-to-face' meetings.
My recent post Inspiration in Nature -
What a GREAT post! I met you & Jen within hours of each other and were my first blogging friends. Believe it or not, you two have been there through thick and thin. There have been days that I was cooking just for you… You ARE a gem!
I am a firm believer that friendship usually strike in the most unlikely of places. I have a group of on-line friends that when we first met in person…..we were all on a cruise we planned together….and we've planned another one!
Great post and thanks for being such a good friend!
My recent post Turkey Tenderloin Scaloppine with Pasta and Peas-
You are very kind & also a gem! I totally agree that friends spring up in the most unexpected places — whether online or in person. What a great story about your cruises with friends met online, awesome! I just noticed that your "most recent post" is turkey scaloppine — heading over there now; LOVE your recipes! Thanks for being such a supportive friend! (p.s. If I'm a gem, I think I'll be a sapphire — my birthstone
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Your story is so close to my experience! I also went into blogging and tweeting to build my platform and audience but I have also "met" some wonderful people. I never expected that at all. In fact, I recently got back from an in person gathering with some of these people and now consider them lifelong friends. Life is funny like that.
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That's wonderful that you had the same experience! Who knew, right? I love that you recently had an in-person gathering with people you met on line! I agree that life is funny like that — you just never ever know where or how you'll meet someone you click with. I've always felt like that in general, in person — it was the online part that was such a big surprise to me! Very very cool! (p.s. Nice to meet you!)
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Hi Julia! I'm with everyone else who likes this topic. I'm another Twitter naysayer (lol), but it has become my favorite social network. I think the "microblogging" aspect initially turned me off since it seemed like it was celebrating lowered attention spans. That may still be a relevant criticism, but I've met some really cool people there, which was an unexpected benefit. I also have a list to keep track of my friends and what's going on in their lives. Nice to be connected there with you, as well!
My recent post The Novel-
Hi Mahesh, So glad to "meet" you again back on this familiar territory!
I know what you mean about the microblogging aspect of Twitter. My husband often tells me he can tell I've been on Twitter because I speak in such short bursts, often not finishing my sentences…. once he didn't realize that we were both going out to breakfast with friends because I only said: "Breakfast is on Saturday at 9…" I never finished that we were actually going *out* and with the other people….he found out Saturday morning at 8:45…. LOL. Luckily he's a very easy-going guy Thanks so much for your comment!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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I can so relate to your surprise that Twitter and blogging has some depth we were unaware of prior to the great experiment. I try to tell others how awesome and supportive some of the folks I've met this way are, (like you) and they just don't get it.
There are those who only use all this to promote themselves, every tweet an advertisment for their ebook or blog post, no @ tweets whatsoever. But it's easy to spot them.
I love my twitter & blogging friends; the ones who write from the heart and give a darn about how my day is going, the ones who tell me about their joys and successes, and their woes.
Lovely, honest post. Just like you, Julia. -
(the wonders of technology — my first reply to you didn't post….if there are two, I just hope I don't contradict myself!
Thank you for the huge compliments! I totally agree that IRL friends don't understand Twitter/blogging friendships, and they even think it's weird or impossible! I'm with you, I love my blogging/twitter friends too, especially ones like you who get my humor about things like "being Julius"! Thanks for the comment here!
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I think that's so great. Thanks for sharing your experience. I blog and tweet and love it, but sometimes it feels as if I'm spread thin and don't have enough to go around to all the people I'd like to get to know.
My recent post Come play!-
I know what you mean — the blogging, tweeting, and commenting on blogs, etc., takes a lot of time! Sometimes I feel like I'm spread too thin, especially while I'm trying to do my writing! (And, like many others, I've blogged about this dilemma.) It's a balancing act, and sharing with other writers (like you!) about the pulls on my time, and the writing life, has really helped! Thank you so much for your comment!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Hey Julia:
What a great blog! And how funny that just two days ago I noticed that I hadn't seen you in a while and hoped you were okay. (We are obviously just tweeting at different times and you are fine!
But it's interesting that even when following over 2,000 tweeps, the people who we like and think are special become memorable enough that we notice when they are gone. I have made more solid friendships on social media (including Twitter) over the years than I can count. The friendships are VERY real and very special..
Thanks for this super post.
Best,
Lisette
My recent post MEET JOY KATZEN-GUTHRIE-
Hi LIsette! I am so glad you tweeted to me and checked in. (My times on Twitter have been changed recently with kids' school/summer schedules, so my appearances/tweets/attentiveness have reflected that!) I'm glad to hear you've had this same experience with Twitter, and that you can relate to this post! Thank you so much for reaching out to me today — it meant so much! –and now for reading this post! I'll be seeing you soon around the Twitter-writer-water-cooler! Take care, friend! Julia
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Oh! I loved this!!! You and Natalia are both in this category for me.
My recent post A Parenting Breakthrough-
Hi Nina, So glad you enjoyed the post!… And I'm especially glad that the feeling is mutual!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Great post Julia. It's really nice to know that in today's busy-tech world people are still just PEOPLE and we can CONNECT. It's sounds so dramatic but I worry about the loss of humanity in daily life, and a surprising place I have found tons of humanity is Twitter!
My recent post You Don’t Need Boobs To Sell Hamburgers-
I couldn't agree more (about fear of loss of humanity AND the tons of humanity on Twitter!)!! Thanks so much for your comment & your wonderful blog, new Twitter/blog friend!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Great post Julia — the real cake is the connections!
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What a lovely way to put it, Lisa. So happy to be forging another great Twitter/blog friendship! Thanks for coming over to Natalia's to comment!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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I know exactly what you mean, Julia! I have been OVERWHELMED by the number of friends I have found in the past month. In fact, I remember thinking that twitter was only created to follow news and stuff, NOT chat and make friends. I started tweeting a month ago, thinking: ‘so I can’t just follow people I don’t know, that’s stalkerish’, and now I do it every day, lol. What is more, I’ve grown so comfortable in these glossy red twitter shoes that I constantly butt into conversations (of friends mostly) and exchange emails with some twitter friends. But the best thing is, like you said, you check up on these people, you worry, you celebrate with them, and you always, ALWAYS support them, whatever they do or write or say, you’re on their side because they’re on yours. Ah, I’m getting gushy so I’ll stop. This post really touched a nerve, in a good way of course. Thank you both and I’ll see you over on Twitter.
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Hi Annie, You're so sweet! I too have spent a long time contemplating friendship — fascinating! I don't know if you ever need to meet people in person to be friends; I guess we're *all* kind of in new territory (although I wonder about letters in the old days…. interesting comparison with pen pals?). I feel incredibly fortunate to have met such an interesting, diverse and talented group of writer friends — including Natalia who's a good friend for having me as a guest blogger! I am happy to meet you as well!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million -
I was another Twitter-hater – still not feeling like I have it mastered, by any means, but I have met some great people through Twitter. I'm about to take a short trip to a city and state I've never visited, and have been invited to sit in on a writers' group that meets when I will be in town, how cool is that?
(For those feeling like they still aren't ready for Twitter, they want to focus on blogging first, don't worry, there's time. You will not be left behind on another planet if you're not part of Twitter – yet.)
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Hi Beverly, *Another* Twitter hater!! Wow!! And what a jump to now being invited to sit in with a different writers' group (although I'd be intimidated….knowing me and my impostor syndrome tendencies…
Like you, I don't feel like I've by any means mastered Twitter, and what I didn't mention in this post is of course I have insecurities about how to proceed (a lot) — just like IRL relationships with friends I've met in person. Have a wonderful meeting with the writers' group, and I hope I'll read about it on your blog! Cheers, Julia
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Julia, I'm so impressed with all of the online connections you've built in such a short time. I have hard time keeping up with Twitter and blog comments. But my goal is to be more like you – commenting on blogs more, tweeting more, building more of an online community too. With so many bloggers out there, I think you're right – building a community is what it's all about.
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Hi Jen, Thanks so much for visiting me over here at Natalia's blog! I appreciate your kind comment about being impressed with my connections — but has it occurred to you that maybe I spend *way* too much time online?
Seriously, it has been incredibly wonderful to meet so many interesting writers like you–getting to know everyone and receiving such tremendous support with my writing! Building a community really IS what it's all about, and I count you as one of my lynchpins!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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absolutely! I'm so glad that I've made friends with Julia – she's an amazing writer and person. Great post!
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Hi Ellie, Glad you enjoyed the post! It's been great getting to know you and it's been great being part of the #1kaday group! One more example of the wonderful support that can be found for writers via Twitter and blogging. Building a writer community is what it's all about!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million -
I love this post esp. b/c I am one of your new friends. (-:
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Hi Ado, So glad you enjoyed the post and came to visit at Natalia's blog! It's been great to become friends through your highly entertaining blogs & our (t)witty repertoire!
My recent post 1 in 140 Million
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Ditto, my friend.
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Christine, so glad to have met you & enjoy the bird watching, gardening connections! Thanks for the comment here at Natalia's wonderful blog! Julia
My recent post Video Bird-Watching on the Coast of Maine
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This was so wonderful to read! And partly bcuz of what Ado said: I am one of your new friends.
I've had a very similar experience to the way you describe it. I've made friends via Twitter and blogs, guest posted and hosted others as guests on my blogs (you among them :~) and I Skype and email with some of these friends.
To take it even further – since finding your blog, I've made more new friends and contacts *through* your blog. How cool is that? (and I'm sure I'm not alone in that aspect)
I was actually intimidated by Twitter and I remember the days when I used to feel terrified before hitting the tweet button for tweets I felt were risky or exposing. Now the same stuff does not scare me at all (though I still don't feel comfortable exposing my life on Twitter the way some do) and I don't get the shakes and the bottom dropping out of my gut when I have to tweet. Yay!
The odds do sound mind-numbing when you first consider them. Thank goodness it can be totally the opposite of impersonal in reality.
~ Milli
My recent post Blowing Up the Writing Balloon-
Hi Milli! Great to see another of my writing friends — I'm so glad that you've made contacts through my blog; I've made some through yours too, so I know what you mean! It's wonderful to have a vehicle to meet people with like interests, which is what makes Twitter so great for me. Thanks for your comment!
My recent post ….and Meanwhile in the Writing….
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I was so happy to come back from my vacation this weekend and see all the amazing replies to this post—proof of the power of blogging and twitter to create friendships! Thanks so much to Julia for a wonderful guest post and to everyone who commented. It's great to see some familiar faces, and I'm very excited to get to know the new ones!
My recent post 8 Simple Rules for Writing Historical Fiction-
I loved writing this post–Natalia–especially seeing what a nerve it struck with many other writers! Thank you for the opportunity to post on your wonderful blog!
My recent post Lovely Summer Evening on the Coast of Maine
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You said it, Julia. The relationships that have come from social media were so unexpected for me as well and now I can't imagine life without you all. You are one of the most supportive writers/bloggers out there and I am not surprised at the number of comments on this post. XO
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Hi Hallie, It means more than you know to hear you say that you see my as a supportive writer/blogger. The feeling is entirely mutual. Thank you for the lovely compliment.
My recent post Lovely Summer Evening on the Coast of Maine
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About Me:
I’m a fiction writer, freelance journalist, and copywriter bent on stretching that English degree as far as it will go. My debut novel, Chasing the Sun, about a frail marriage tested to the extreme by the wife’s kidnapping in 1990s Peru, is forthcoming from New Harvest/Amazon Publishing in spring 2014. Born in Lima, Peru, and raised in Miami, I now live in Austin with my husband and our two pups, Maggie and Pita. My articles have appeared in Latina, Writer’s Digest, and The Writer magazines. I’m fueled by Chai lattes and story, and represented by Brandi Bowles of Foundry Literary + Media.
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